The matrix: Architects of our own paradise

Morpheus: “I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it” (The Matrix)

Likewise teachers, religious leaders, mentors and influential figures alike can only enlighten us to a certain extent but we are the architects of our own paradise.

Colleges and universities believe in the power of education and employers often filter candidates by level of degree attainment. While certain companies place high priority on proven skills, abilities and overall intelligence.

Winston Churchill famously said “success is not final, failure is not fatal, it’s the courage to continue that counts”. It could be argued that failure is key to joy and happiness, however as long as you get it right in the end. Failures can be viewed as a series of experiments- experimental scientist or scientist in general never stop carrying out empirical studies because of failed experiments, rather they keep on trying different things until they achieve the desired results. If you fail at something you are not the failure but the experiment is the failure. For instant, in football if a team fails to perform more often than not it’s the manager and his formation or game plan who gets the blame, even though it’s the players fault at times due to blatant lethargy.

You get out what you put in. Hard work and dedication pays. Michael Gladwell stated that it takes 10 000 hours to perfect your craft, and the hours are key to success.

Some argue that a narrow focus increases efficiency particularly when starting a business but as you grow your business and your team you can widen your horizons. For it has been advised not to put eggs in one basket. Meaning it’s not wise to concentrate efforts and resources on one area as you could lose everything.

Choose (what you want to do) Connect (get connected to an advisor or expects in that area as well as potential consumers) create (start don’t procrastinate commit (be diligent and never give up on your dreams). However if you are not enjoying what you are doing it’s best you jump ship as fast as you can. If you persevere with the job you hate you continue to live a life of perpetual unfullfilment.

Positivity, brilliance and passion are some of the key attributes to create a happy life. Passion is arguably the currency of life. Find your passion and be happy, my niece pointed out that some times its hard to realise your passion. Well it’s easy to identify your passion- what do you like to do with your spare time? What do you like to read? What are your favourite tv programs and why? What are you following on social media? What makes you tick? Such questions will help you to identify your passion, find something you love to do. You can also use your passion to generate income- getting paid while doing what you love to do. Some love reggae and use it to make a living. Well some might say music takes talent, natural ability to sing. Another good example is Michael Dapaah’s (Big ShaQ) passion is to make people laugh and he doggedly persevered to make a break through with the hit comedy song “mans not hot” which made him. Dapaah used to grind 9-5 at Vodafone and had enough of that life. And wanted to do something creative and interesting so he started creating comedy skits and characters like Big ShaQ.

My birthday question: do you want to live forever?

It is an unbending, an unending and an unassailable fact that me, you and everyone else you know will die. However some scientist believe that death is a technical problem and a couple of geeks in a lab will one day find a solution. In 2013 Google even launched a company (Calico) to cure death, or a life extension company. They invested 1,5 billion in the research company.

Admittedly, now it is possible to cure or control some deseases which were once considered deadly. The likes of AIDS, Cancer and so on but will they find the elusive immortality solution? My dentist said “I wouldn’t want to live forever… I want to do my part and go to pave the way for the next generation”. And the question is,would you want the option to live forever?

Above all should mankind pursue these technologies, particularly creating immortals- super humans called Homo Deus. Some argue that it’s immoral and that we need a more natural approach. Yet others thinks this is vital and should be pursued doggedly.

The Invisible Rain Cloud

I’m of the opinion that TBI sufferers or any alike know best about how they feel daily more than any human experts using human intelligence. They maybe able to know better if the findings are aided by some superior algorithm intelligence or as such.

Only you can hear the whispers of your aunthentic self. Lastly it is within you to enlighten the world by sharing your invaluable dark secrets.

Unstoppable María

As much as I write about my brain injury, I sometimes feel like I can’t really explain exactly what it’s like. Everything I read says different things about what it feels like but that’s not always what I feel. I don’t know if others feel the same way but as much as I try to share and be open about it there are still some dark spots I’d rather not share.

What everybody sees is the outside, not the darker things inside, and sometimes it’s better to not share those parts.  Then when you read things it feels like you’re going through something completely different than everybody else with the same diagnosis.

Until you hear something that sounds familiar. I found that in The Invisible Rain Cloud, a story about what it’s like to live with a Traumatic Brain Injury. It was like reading my mind, it’s a video truly…

View original post 70 more words

Recovering from TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury)

The brain is complicated, for instance I sustained a brain injury. When I look in the mirror, the left hand side of my head near the forehead, is where my skull fructured. Due to the Brain injury, movement in my right upper and lower limbs was affected. Yet science acknowledges that the cerebellum, which located below the cerebrum, is the part which controls balance, movement, and coordination (how your muscles work together).

Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI

brain injury from www.facebook.com tbilifecoach

picture from http://www.tbilifecoach.com

Also see https://traumaticbraininjurytbi.wordpress.com/2019/01/02/traumatic-brain-injury-survival-guide/

https://recoveringfromtbi.com/

and

https://recoveringfromtbi.com/great-traumatic-brain-injury-doctor/

doctor

from a Google search (my “filing system” to rescue me from “sheer utter chaos”, thanks “BIG G”)

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBD_enNZ767NZ767&q=marc+macialek+brain+injury&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjlqvaGz9XfAhVZdXAKHUn0Aj4QgwMILA&biw=1024&bih=355

neurons.jpg

You may also find this link to be of interest

https://traumaticbraininjurytbi.wordpress.com/2018/12/28/the-immediate-aftermath-and-consequences-of-traumatic-head-brain-injury-tbithe-immediate-aftermath-and-consequences-of-traumatic-head-brain-injury-tbi/

“We share what we know, so that we all may grow.”

“Sharing, supporting, informing,  enlightening, “entertaining”(??), encouraging, empowering, enriching, challenging, igniting, uplifting (and perhaps even) inspiring”

enough there for now, c!

My other blogs in this area are at

and
“We share what we know, so that we all may grow.”
“Knowledge is the gateway to understanding…and understanding is the gateway to a better life.”
– Jeff Sebell
Shining a light of hope  in the darkest corners
Helping promote better understanding and awareness of what is often termed “The Silent Epidemic” (and/or “The Hidden Handicap”)
“Inform, educate, inspire”

PS

“We didn’t have…

View original post 86 more words

Headfirst Thrills on Wheels

Have you ever read a non fiction thriller?

Independent wheelchair globetrotting feels like one. Search my name “Max Mteliso” on Amazon and buy the suitable edition for you. I will recommend people to buy the kindle edition. For paperback I encourage you to buy it from lulu.com- simply enter Headfirst Thrills on Wheels or my name. Enjoy the unputdownable novella: thrilling, enthralling, inspirational, motivational and above all enlightening. I think I just wrote a new and perfect blurb for it.

Find it here:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07L9FWWB9

Headfirst Thrills on Wheels (wheelchair globetrotting and dealing with the Consequences)

Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/sitb/B07L9FWWB9?ref=sib_dp_aw_kd_udp $4.99

lulu: http://www.lulu.com/shop/max-mteliso/headfirst-thrills-on-wheels-wheelchair-globetrotting-dealing-with-the-consequences/paperback/product-23849403.html £9.99, Paperback

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Headfirst-Thrills-Wheelchair-Globetrotting-Consequences/dp/0244415498 $12.43 Paperback

Eventually, my novella is out: “Headfirst Thrills on Wheels”. The best words to describe it are thrilling, enthralling, inspirational, motivational and enlightening. A non fiction thriller. An account of my independent travels across the globe as an ordinary wheelchair user. The book highlights the challenges that I encountered as well as the enlightenment.

It might not be a hit but I guarantee you that somewhere and somehow, it will touch the minds of think tanks. The novella is also a good read packed with humor and impeccable English. Above all it inspires the wheelchair users and disabled people alike to travel further afield independently.

NB. I would encourage people to it on kindle while it’s selling at a reduced price of £3.99. The paperback is not yet available on Amazon. However I prefer it if people purchase the paperback on lulu.com £9.99.

*Success is a community effort therefore I need your support.

Would you date or marry a disabled person?

When I was a teenager some of my wishes included- wining every argument, solve every mathematical problem, travel to wherever I want and date whoever I like. After I sustained a head injury, I still tend to win every argument, I now hate anything to do with numbers, I still can travel to wherever I want but can’t date whoever I want.

Back to the question, I often pose it to acquaintances and friends, particularly ladies. What I gathered is many answer it reticently and with careful consideration. They fear to reveal they truest opinions to try and not offend disabled people.

In my utopia or in a socially, politically & morally perfect society; I want to see more disabled people getting hitched to abled people so as to support each other. However this is the real world where many abled people avoid dating the disabled like plague, more so noticeable disabilities such as wheelchair users. One open minded European lady I met in London (Cansu) said to me “…because it can preclude a relationship” and she asked me if I want kids. “Yes of course, so that I can see part of me with no head injury and ideally I want to be espoused to someone non disabled like you” I answered with cheeky smile.

Indeed, in an idealistic world, love is all about loving the person, just the way they are (Bruno Mars). Or all about kindness, intelligence, humor, and other aspects of personality. In the real world, intimacy is a requisite to maintain relationships, where ability is deemed a paramount factor. “Expectations to perform are high… Good intimacy fuels marriages” said she. Other key aspects for keeping a relationship afloat are, mutual interests and spending time together. There is a saying which says that, a family which eats together stays together. I’m afraid the same doesn’t apply to a husband and a wife. “Having one person in a wheelchair would cause significant friction” said the lady.

From her point of view equal footing is important in a relationship. A friend of mine once said to me “it’s easier for you to find a wife because you go to church”. I told him that, wether a lady is from church or not, they naturally share the same desires, wishes and fantasies. I metaphorically added that “I have more chance of getting hitched in the house of Judah than the house of Joseph”.

Finally someone who is not afraid to state his opinions.

“When I was 21, I dated for several years, someone who was slightly disabled. I adored her personality, and she was so much stronger because of her physical condition too. When entering the relationship, I believed that it wouldn’t be much of an issue, and it really wasn’t! For many months, being together was awesome”

“However… there was so much waiting. Most activities we did together moved at a necessarily slower pace. When I walked with her, I had to cut my speed in half, and we split walks into half-hour segments for rest. She had always wanted to ice skate, but we discovered together her ankle couldn’t take it. I wished we could explore the city by bike together, but alas, no biking, no running, no hiking, no climbing… As someone who moved quickly and valued efficiency, I wondered how much of my identity I had to compromise to be with the person for whom I cared so much.

It ended for a variety of reasons, but sometime in between I admitted to both myself and to her that I was struggling to stay patient with her physical condition. Call me cruel if you’d like, but it was true, and I’m not proud of it”.

“And what if it gets worse? Illnesses have a tendency to worsen, either through natural progression or increased strain from compensating. Where are you willing to draw the line? Bedridden? Paralysis? Vegetative state? Are you going to abandon them then? You’ve heard stories about how a serious illness can tear a family apart. Dating someone in a wheelchair means willingly entering a similar situation”.