How to take control of the situation

Continuing from the last blog post about fear -An American-Portuguese Neuroscientist named Antonio Damasio found out that our bodies react to fear and stress before our minds do, the empirical study was carried out in 1997. Having said that it is critical to pay attention to our body awareness, and read the signals in our body in order to take control. The secret to mind control is to realise the manifestation of fear in our bodies.

⁃ Biologically, our bodies react by releasing a stress hormone (cortisol). Dr Jill Bolte, a neuroanatomist in her book; My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Sceintist’s Personal Journey (Jill Bolte Taylor).

⁃ she states that

⁃ “When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90 second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop”.

⁃ Something happens in the external world and chemicals are flushed through your body which puts it on full alert. For those chemicals to totally flush out of the body it takes less than 90 seconds.

⁃ This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can feel it happening, and then you can watch it go away.

⁃ After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you’re thinking that are re-stimulating the circuitry that is resulting in you having this physiological response over and over again.”

⁃ I myself I know I’m in fear when my hair stands on it’s end, at times shortening of breath and losing balance when standing. Different people react to fear differently it has been reported that some experience tightening of chest, tightening of throat, rush on your throat, excessive sebum (white staff which comes out of the pores everytime you squeeze your nose or chin, gross right?…unfounded I just made that up).

⁃ Within the 90 second window learn how to calm yourself down. Here is what to do to address the moment of fear 1) simply breath slowly and count to 90 2) breath slowly and get up and walk around. 3) hug someone you know for 90 secs

A Beautiful Mess

⁃ “Beautiful front garden wall” they say, the only person who thinks it’s an eye soar is my neighbour. Jealous nosey neighbours, I despise. However I don’t think he jealousy, it could be that he hates or fears change, he will get used to it. I live adjacent to a gateway to a primary school and the parents who come to pick up they kids after school seems to be captivated by it. To build it I initially contracted an independent builder. To erect a simple structure under 1 metre to avoid the hustle of procuring a planning permission. A brick wall with black coping stones and ceder cladding intervals. When the first phase was completed (without the ceder cladding) I fell in love with it. However after several weeks of waiting on the builder to finish the job. I called him several times at first he gave me excuses while insisting that I was the first on his priority list.

⁃ Disappointedly the coping stones started to come undone meanwhile I was trying to get in touch with him but he was avoiding me like the plague. He had gone AWOL that’s when I realised that behind the nice guy facade, he was a cowboy builder and he was never going to come back to finish the job let alone to rectify his mess.

⁃ That said I looked for another builder and found a reputable building company called Lux Construction design & Build, based in Leeds and 5 star rated by yell.

⁃ As you can tell from their work, they know well how to execute their craft. An upcoming but genuine and thriving company.

⁃ I expressed my vision and they were able to turn a flimsy messed up wall into a beautiful sturdy mess. A beautiful mess like a patchwork quilt after a good snooze.

Fear of rejection

◦ First off I say what I say not because I’m better than you but just sharing the love. Hoping that somehow, somewhere someone will benefit from what I share.

◦ Continuing from my blog about fear…We try to fulfil our lives with temporary fixes like a half hearted date or a flirt. Pointedly, the notion that worldly materials can fulfil our lives or make us lives rosy or better is consistent and quite wrong. That’s living in cloud cuckoo land or living a fantasy. Things like impulsive shopping – buying things that you don’t really need; hoading, going on endless dates with multiple partners. Wanting more and more telling yourself if I only get this and that or this one and that one I will be ok. When you fall into this trap you would have lost a control in you. Once you get that you might find yourself wanting more of that and before you know it’s an addiction. We all live on a grid and we have a pattern to follow it runs on imperative biological. mechanisms. Like food, sex and that ond if those bit’s becomes uncontrollable to the point of causing distraction, pose and reflect behind our damaged perceptions there is a great fear that pertains to a core belief, this is the key line in a code of our misery, if we crack the code and address it we can be free from the bondage of fear.

Fear of rejection by women

For instance behind the fact that I’m still single there is a fear of rejection to some extent, the fear that the people I’m attracted to would never love me because I’m disabled, the fear of being heartbroken, the fear of inadequacy, fear of taking risks and that. 5:

◦ She is not attracted to me, so what? Fair play, that’s her opinion and wish her the best in finding mr Fantastic. I will get my heart broken, so what? It can be put together- give it time to heal and move on. I sustained a brain injury, so what? Difference is what make this world. I’m not adequate- man’s disabled, so what? This kind of defective thinking is sad or worse. To address inadequacy I tried to climb the ladder, thinking that if I achieve x,y,z I will be ok but after achieving that I found myself still climbing the ladder. However ain’t nothing wrong with climbing rather than being stuck in the swamp and hopefully one day you will settle at the beach (the swamp symbolises despair, Climbing is building your carrier, and when you settle at the beach is when you finally relax and enjoy the fruits of your labour).

◦ I’m no stranger to taking risks and I know the importance of going an extra mile. I know that if you take deeper risks you get deeper rewards and that if you go an extra mile there is less traffic. However because of fear of rejection I don’t take deeper risks and I’m reluctant to go an extra mile to ask out who I want. To be continued…

The matrix: Architects of our own paradise

Morpheus: “I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it” (The Matrix)

Likewise teachers, religious leaders, mentors and influential figures alike can only enlighten us to a certain extent but we are the architects of our own paradise.

Colleges and universities believe in the power of education and employers often filter candidates by level of degree attainment. While certain companies place high priority on proven skills, abilities and overall intelligence.

Winston Churchill famously said “success is not final, failure is not fatal, it’s the courage to continue that counts”. It could be argued that failure is key to joy and happiness, however as long as you get it right in the end. Failures can be viewed as a series of experiments- experimental scientist or scientist in general never stop carrying out empirical studies because of failed experiments, rather they keep on trying different things until they achieve the desired results. If you fail at something you are not the failure but the experiment is the failure. For instant, in football if a team fails to perform more often than not it’s the manager and his formation or game plan who gets the blame, even though it’s the players fault at times due to blatant lethargy.

You get out what you put in. Hard work and dedication pays. Michael Gladwell stated that it takes 10 000 hours to perfect your craft, and the hours are key to success.

Some argue that a narrow focus increases efficiency particularly when starting a business but as you grow your business and your team you can widen your horizons. For it has been advised not to put eggs in one basket. Meaning it’s not wise to concentrate efforts and resources on one area as you could lose everything.

Choose (what you want to do) Connect (get connected to an advisor or expects in that area as well as potential consumers) create (start don’t procrastinate commit (be diligent and never give up on your dreams). However if you are not enjoying what you are doing it’s best you jump ship as fast as you can. If you persevere with the job you hate you continue to live a life of perpetual unfullfilment.

Positivity, brilliance and passion are some of the key attributes to create a happy life. Passion is arguably the currency of life. Find your passion and be happy, my niece pointed out that some times its hard to realise your passion. Well it’s easy to identify your passion- what do you like to do with your spare time? What do you like to read? What are your favourite tv programs and why? What are you following on social media? What makes you tick? Such questions will help you to identify your passion, find something you love to do. You can also use your passion to generate income- getting paid while doing what you love to do. Some love reggae and use it to make a living. Well some might say music takes talent, natural ability to sing. Another good example is Michael Dapaah’s (Big ShaQ) passion is to make people laugh and he doggedly persevered to make a break through with the hit comedy song “mans not hot” which made him. Dapaah used to grind 9-5 at Vodafone and had enough of that life. And wanted to do something creative and interesting so he started creating comedy skits and characters like Big ShaQ.

My birthday question: do you want to live forever?

It is an unbending, an unending and an unassailable fact that me, you and everyone else you know will die. However some scientist believe that death is a technical problem and a couple of geeks in a lab will one day find a solution. In 2013 Google even launched a company (Calico) to cure death, or a life extension company. They invested 1,5 billion in the research company.

Admittedly, now it is possible to cure or control some deseases which were once considered deadly. The likes of AIDS, Cancer and so on but will they find the elusive immortality solution? My dentist said “I wouldn’t want to live forever… I want to do my part and go to pave the way for the next generation”. And the question is,would you want the option to live forever?

Above all should mankind pursue these technologies, particularly creating immortals- super humans called Homo Deus. Some argue that it’s immoral and that we need a more natural approach. Yet others thinks this is vital and should be pursued doggedly.

The Invisible Rain Cloud

I’m of the opinion that TBI sufferers or any alike know best about how they feel daily more than any human experts using human intelligence. They maybe able to know better if the findings are aided by some superior algorithm intelligence or as such.

Only you can hear the whispers of your aunthentic self. Lastly it is within you to enlighten the world by sharing your invaluable dark secrets.

Unstoppable María

As much as I write about my brain injury, I sometimes feel like I can’t really explain exactly what it’s like. Everything I read says different things about what it feels like but that’s not always what I feel. I don’t know if others feel the same way but as much as I try to share and be open about it there are still some dark spots I’d rather not share.

What everybody sees is the outside, not the darker things inside, and sometimes it’s better to not share those parts.  Then when you read things it feels like you’re going through something completely different than everybody else with the same diagnosis.

Until you hear something that sounds familiar. I found that in The Invisible Rain Cloud, a story about what it’s like to live with a Traumatic Brain Injury. It was like reading my mind, it’s a video truly…

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Recovering from TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury)

The brain is complicated, for instance I sustained a brain injury. When I look in the mirror, the left hand side of my head near the forehead, is where my skull fructured. Due to the Brain injury, movement in my right upper and lower limbs was affected. Yet science acknowledges that the cerebellum, which located below the cerebrum, is the part which controls balance, movement, and coordination (how your muscles work together).

Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI

brain injury from www.facebook.com tbilifecoach

picture from http://www.tbilifecoach.com

Also see https://traumaticbraininjurytbi.wordpress.com/2019/01/02/traumatic-brain-injury-survival-guide/

https://recoveringfromtbi.com/

and

https://recoveringfromtbi.com/great-traumatic-brain-injury-doctor/

doctor

from a Google search (my “filing system” to rescue me from “sheer utter chaos”, thanks “BIG G”)

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBD_enNZ767NZ767&q=marc+macialek+brain+injury&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjlqvaGz9XfAhVZdXAKHUn0Aj4QgwMILA&biw=1024&bih=355

neurons.jpg

You may also find this link to be of interest

https://traumaticbraininjurytbi.wordpress.com/2018/12/28/the-immediate-aftermath-and-consequences-of-traumatic-head-brain-injury-tbithe-immediate-aftermath-and-consequences-of-traumatic-head-brain-injury-tbi/

“We share what we know, so that we all may grow.”

“Sharing, supporting, informing,  enlightening, “entertaining”(??), encouraging, empowering, enriching, challenging, igniting, uplifting (and perhaps even) inspiring”

enough there for now, c!

My other blogs in this area are at

and
“We share what we know, so that we all may grow.”
“Knowledge is the gateway to understanding…and understanding is the gateway to a better life.”
– Jeff Sebell
Shining a light of hope  in the darkest corners
Helping promote better understanding and awareness of what is often termed “The Silent Epidemic” (and/or “The Hidden Handicap”)
“Inform, educate, inspire”

PS

“We didn’t have…

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